


Can't Be Exposed

by dalouisbooty



Category: One Direction
Genre: Book 2, Chaptered, Fanfic, Love, M/M, Romance, Sequel, Smut, dalouisbooty, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, skinny love, we cant be exposed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:09:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalouisbooty/pseuds/dalouisbooty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Skinny Love.</p><p>"We are a secret, can't be exposed."</p><p>Harry and Louis have come clean with their love for one another. They were ready to tell the world and take it on together, but they were silenced. Two boys forced to lie, fake a smile, and face everyday without the truth on their side can destroy them. Follow them on their battle full of hope and constant dissapointment. Can this roadbump knock them down or can they stand up brave and fight for what they love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry's POV

Who was I kidding? Was I really that stupid to believe it was that simple and that everything would work out? I guess I was...

Louis and I were ready, we were beyond ready to tell everyone the truth. I loved him, he loved me, it was that simple. However maybe it wasn't that simple. According to Simon, we aren't allowed to publically be together due to… everything I suppose.

It would destroy each and every one of our careers and no matter how scary that sounds… I can't bring myself to care.

Don't get me wrong, I do care. If the rest of the lad's careers ended because of Louis and I's actions, I would feel incredibly guilty. So guilty in fact, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. But the thing is, my love for Louis… for this one boy… it overrides my emotions of guilt. I want to tell everyone that Louis is mine and I'm his. That we love each other and that it's okay. But it's not okay.

After Louis and I went into Simon's office at Syco and argued to let us tell everyone, I stormed out. Louis didn't chase after me, he didn't yell my name or tell me stop. In fact, he didn't move a muscle. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was too hurt, or too numb, paralyzed even, to get me to stop. But deep down I knew, if he really wanted to he could've went after me.

I'm not sure if it was out of his lack of love for me or what but whatever it was I'm hoping that's not it. I would never ever be satisfied with loving Louis and him not loving me back. It'd crush me.

I'm angry- wait no, furious. I'm furious at the world. I was so ready, so prepared to tell everyone and because of everyone I can't.

It's ironic isn't it? We wanted to tell the world about us but they are the one thing keeping us from it.

I'm not angry at Louis for not stopping me. I'm dissapointed. I wanted him to call me back inside and tell me to sit my sorry arse back down so we can sort everything out. Maybe he did have a reason though.

I have a bit of hope that just maybe he still loves me and I was overexaggerating.

I just arrived home from Simon's office. I ditched Louis and ran all the way back to our flat. Seeing as the driveway was still empty, he wasn't home.

I angrily snatched my keys from my pocket and stormed inside. I tossed my keys onto the table near the door and kicked off my shoes. I went straight upstairs, passing Louis' room and into mine. I didn't waste anytime to flop onto my bed and exhale a long deep breath.

I stared at my ceiling and locked my eyes on my rotating ceiling fan. It cooled me down a bit and the circular motion calmed me.

"What a mess" I thought.

He still loves me, I need to keep the faith. I was being silly. Just because he didn't play tag and chase me out of the office didn't prove his feelings for me. Hope will keep me sane.

I must've zoned for a bit but I blinked a few times to regain my surroundings. Feeling exhausted I stripped into just my boxers and crawled under my bed sheets. Soon sleep found my location and lulled me under.

//

I felt myself being shaken lightly. My body felt sore and overworked but I fluttered my eyes open nonetheless.

Louis was sitting on the edge of my bed looking down at me. He gave me a half timid smile probably because he wasn't sure how upset I was with him. I am still upset but I could never be fully upset.

"Hi." he said softly.

"Hello." I said groggily, lifting my body off the bed to lean against my headboard in a sitting position.

I waited for him to talk seeing as he woke me up. He bit his lip before saying,

"I'm sorry about what happened back there in the office… I do love you, so don't think I don't Haz, it's just that Simon is right." He paused as he saw me flinch at his words, "I don't like it that he's right but think about the boys. I don't know about you but I don't want them to suffer because of you and me."

I stared at him soaking it in. He still loves me but he wants to do what is right.

"So what does that mean for us?" I asked worriedly.

He sighed as he reached over to my bedside table and grabbed two cups of tea I didn't even know were there. He passed one to me and I took a sip. They were still warm so I assumed he made it. I muttered a thanks as he continued.

"Well thats just it isn't it? As much as I don't want to stay a secret, I think we have to H." I looked down at my tea as he spoke, "I don't want to hurt the lads, they would do the same for us. We need to consider how this affects them too not just us. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"What does that mean for us?" I repeated my question calmly.

He ran a hand through his hair, "We can still be together- I mean if you want. But according to Simon, no one can know."

"Define 'no one'" I requested.

He fiddled his thumbs against his teacup as he said, "The fans, reporters, paps, basically anyone but the lads, Simon, and the people we aleady told." He explained.

I nodded my head in understanding. I felt tears prick at my eyes. I can't believe this was actually happening.

"But I was ready." I barely whispered weakly as I looked up at Louis.

He gave me sad smile while he set down his tea. He took mine from me and put it next to his while he crawled against the headboard next to me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and lightly guided my head to rest on his shoulders. I relaxed into him as he played with my hair.

"We'll get through it Haz, don't worry." He cooed.

I sniffled trying to keep myself together but was failing, "When can we come out though? We aren't going to be like this forever…" I stated, scared of the answer.

"I guess when One Direction takes it's toll. When its all over I suppose." He whispered.

My body began to shake in Louis' hold as I cried. He held me tighter whispering encouraging words in my ear trying to comfort me.

We are going to have to lie. We're gonna be a lie.

//

I woke up but this time with no one shaking me awake. I felt a bit cold and I soon realized it was because Louis was gone. I frowned a bit as I stretched, wondering where he could've gone. I couldn't think of a reason so I got up quickly and walked out of my room.

I stopped to listen for any noises being made around the flat. There wasn't any.

Sighing I walked down the stairs with the floorboards creaking when my weight was applied. I entered the kitchen and rubbed my eyes to look at the time on the stove.

7:58 pm.

Where could he be? I walked to the fridge for a glass of water and I stopped when I saw a note plastered on it.

Something came up, I'll explain when I get back. I won't be long.

Love Lou xx.

What could've been the thing that came up and how long has he been gone? I sighed frustatedly but decided to just try and forget about it. I'll worry myself to death if I don't.

I took this time to find something to eat, seeing as I didn't eat since breakfast. I opened the fridge and scanned the rows.but found nothing to my taste. I looked in the cabinents but there was nothing appealing it in either.

"We need to go food shopping." I muttered as I grabbed the landline telephone.

I dialed the number for the pizza place and ordered a large. Hey I was hungry and maybe Louis will want some when he got back.

I watched television as I waited for the pizza to arrive. I smiled when I heard the doorbell ring. I hopped up and grabbed my wallet off the counter. I opened the front door to reveal a middle aged man with my box of pizza.

"Good day, that will be $10.54" He requested.

(AN: I know they live in the UK but I live in the US so I don't know what money system they go by over there so oh well.)

I got out the exact change from my wallet and exchanged my money with the pizza. I thanked him as I brought the warm, tasty smelling pizza inside.

I went back to the living room as I continued watching the television. I was about two slices in until I heard the front door open.

I got up excitedly as I skipped over to the front door.

"Hey Lou." I said as I saw him closing the door.

His face seemed sad and guilty as he came into view. He just gave me a sad smile in return and I instantly put up my guard.

"What happened?" I asked timidly.

"Haz I need to tell you something." He said in a very saddening tone it brought me saddness as well.

"What is it?" I asked desperately needing to know.

He paused biting his lip. I saw a few tears threatening to fall which only made me more eager. "Well Simon called me back into his office…" He started.

I nodded my head motioning for him to keep going.

"And he said I needed to have a cover up." He whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek.

I rose an eyebrow in confusion, "Cover up?" I asked wanting him to elaborate.

He sighed shakily as he said, "I'm now dating a girl named Eleanor Calder."


	2. Chapter 2

Harry's POV

"You're lying." I said quietly.

Did Simon really set Louis up with a fake girlfriend? Who is this Eleanor Calder? I never agreed to this, I don't want this, I never wanted this.

"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't have a choice." He said shamefully looking down.

"Who is SHE?" I spat with disgust.

Louis shrugged, "I don't know I never met her. Simon told me that shes a daughter of someone who works at Syco. That's all I know, he wouldn't tell me anything else H." He said trying to make this sound better.

I clenched my fists at my sides. "Why didn't he call me in too? I'm just as much a part of this as you." I said getting angry.

He sighed, "I don't know Harry, I'm really sorry he just called me. He kind of suspected you'd react to it like this so you can go see him tomorrow he said to clear things up." 

"No, I don't want to see him! Ever!" I said with so much disgust it scared me.

Louis walked closer to me as he reached to put a comforting arm on my shoulder, "Harry it's not his fault he's just-"

I swatted his hand away, "How can you side with him?!" I said my voice rising.

He look surprised at my actions but quickly regained composure by saying, "I'm not siding with him! I'm just saying he has a point!" 

"I thought you loved ME! Not some Eleanor girl." I said my voice weak.

"I do love you, goddamnit Harry! Don't you see that I don't want this either?! It's affecting you just as much as me!" He yelled.

I paused not answering him at first, "Well it doesn't feel like it." I whispered.

I saw him deciding on what to do next until I saw him walk over to me and wrapped me in his arms. Being in his arms made this all seem too real. We would have to hide what we share with each other. We wouldn't be able to say what we really feel because of some stupid reputation. The thought of this made me begin to cry.

"Harry don't cry." He whispered but I could tell he was beginning to cry as well.

"It's not fair." I sobbed into his chest, "You're supposed to be with ME not HER!" I said angrily into his chest.

He rubbed my back trying to calm me down but at this point I couldn't be calmed down. It's not fair that a random girl like Eleanor can publically be with him but someone like me who actually wants him can't be. I'm not going to say I deserve Louis because in my opinion, I don't deserve someone as great as him. He's my definition of perfect and someone like me doesn't deserve someone like him. Maybe thats why this is all happening. I never deserved him in the first place.

"Shh.. Harry. I'm so sorry, I really thought it'd be okay." Louis whispered.

"I knew something was going to happen." I said sobbing into his chest.

"Harry I still love you, I always will love you. Cmon love, lets go to bed." He whispered in my ear leading me upstairs.

//

Dear Journal,

Last time I wrote in this I was happy and excited. This time its a bit different. Its kind of weird seeing my last entry, how excited I was to tell everyone... how the tables have turned. I went to Syco with Louis to tell Simon and management we were ready to tell everyone but the thing is we can't.

We both didn't expect it but now its here and I hate it. We can't be together, at least not in public. I don't think they'd go as far as splitting us up in secret as well. No one can be that cruel. To me, I know Louis as the perfect being who somehow loves me back... to the rest of the world he has a new girlfriend, Eleanor Calder.

Management is making Louis fake date her to cover up any suspicion of us being together. I'm devasted and I honestly see no point in trying anymore. The only thing keeping me going is hope. Hope that for some day we can be together in the future. It may not be soon but it doesn't need to be soon because we're worth it. Louis is worth it.

-H.xx

I sighed tucking my journal underneath my bed. It's late, really late. It's about three in the morning and I honestly can't fall to sleep. My thoughts have been keeping me up the past few weeks. Ever since I found out that Louis and I can't be together publically it's been driving me insane. It's like I can never sleep no matter how exhausted I am. 

Louis has been getting little sleep as well but he's better than me. He can fall asleep within an hour unlike me. Some nights I lay in my bed trying to get to sleep and I just lay there and eventually I see my room getting light indicating its morning. Sometimes I don't even bother trying to get back to sleep, its no use really. I don't know if anyone can tell that I'm lacking sleep but the bags under my eyes are getting more prominent and it's starting to frighten me how dark they are going to get. It's alright though, our stylists cover it up.

Soon I'm going to be exhausted out of my mind, we're starting our US tour next week. Once we are on the road I'm going to drop dead of lack of sleep. 

The only thing I think about is her. Eleanor.

We met her. Actually Louis just met her and I've heard about her from Louis. He told me she is a lovely girl and she's actually really sweet. When he says things like that it makes me cringe and want to cry. Not only does she get to 'date' him but he actually likes her. Some days when management sets up days for them to publically be seen together, I can't help but think he's actually falling for her. Louis assumed I thought this and he's reassured me he loves me, not her. But its kind of hard to believe it when you see them holding hands all over magazine stands.

I know its for publicity but it hurts. It hurts knowing the person you love is with someone else whether it be real or not.

It doesn't help that shes drop dead gorgeous. She has nice and healthy brown hair and pretty brown eyes. I'll give her that. She is pretty and I envy her whole being. I haven't physically met her and I don't want to either but its only a matter of time until we do. Until then, I dread that day. I might just break.

Sighing heavily I quietly untangled myself from a sleeping Louis and I got up from the bed. I turned off the little bedside lamp that I had on to write in my journal and grabbed my phone. I slowly walked to the door and opened it. I walked out and very carefully I shut the door.

I needed someone to talk to other than Louis. Louis was a great listener and he was going through what I was but I needed to talk to someone else and I know exactly who that someone is.

I dialed Caroline's number seeing as I haven't chatted to her in a while. I knew it was quite early in the morning but I needed to just talk to someone. I'm going mad.

It rang about five times and I almost thought she wasn't going to answer until she said, "Hello?"

She obviously was sleeping due to her sleepy voice. "Hey Caroline its Harry." I whispered.

"What do you want you dick, it's like three in the morning?" She said grumpily.

I cracked a smile as I replied, "I wanted to know if I could come over.." I paused and said, "I need to talk to someone."

She sighed but said she wouldn't mind. I knew she did a bit but I also knew she cared for me so luckily she agreed. I thanked her and told her I'd be over within ten minutes. Since I was only wearing boxers and I didn't want to head back into my room and risk waking up Louis, I went into Louis' room. I stole some pajama pants that were on the floor and a white tshirt laying around. I put on some long socks and some flip flops. Fashion disaster, I know. 

I grabbed my keys and cell phone and walked down the pathway to my car. It was freezing outside and I regretted not putting something warmer on. I pratically ran to my car and slammed the door shut. It didn't help that it was freezing inside my car as well. I quickly turned on the engine and blasted the heat. The heat helped a bit but my nose and fingers felt like they were going to fall off. I needed tea.

I quickly pulled out my cellphone and shot Caroline a text.

To Caroline:

I'm going to get us tea, its freezing. Be there soon.

At least this way I'll be warm and she won't be as mad at me for waking her up. I quickly drove to a little cafe that was open 24/7 and was on the way to Caroline's. I turned off my car and as I was walking inside I noticed it was basically a ghost town. I mean it is three in the morning.

I quickly ordered two teas to go but I took no wait in drinking mine. I brought the teas into the car and began my way to Caroline's. She texted me back when I was driving but I didn't look at it since I was occupied. Besides I was only three minutes away. 

I pulled into her driveway and saw only a few lights were on. I felt relatively bad but I needed to get stuff off my chest. Things that I can't talk about with Louis.

I quickly ran to her front door with our tea and banged on her door hoping she would let me in before I froze to death. Within seconds I heard the door unlocking and revealing a very tired looking Caroline. She was in shorts and a tank top with her hair pulled into a pony tail.

"Come in Harry, it's freezing!" She exclaimed tugging on my arm.

I walked inside quickly and she shut the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes by her front door as she took the teas from my hand.

"Why thank you." She said taking a sip.

"You're welcome, it's the least I can do for waking you up so early." I apologized somewhat.

She waved me off, "It's alright H, lets go to the kitchen." She said.

I nodded following her. She turned on the light to the kitchen as she took a seat on one of the barstools at the island. I took a seat right across from her and sipped my tea.

"I'm all ears." She said waiting for me to start on why I'm here.

I cleared my throat and said, "I'm so... worn out Caroline. Like really really just worn out."

"Worn out as in...?" She said trying to get me to elaborate.

"I can't sleep, all I think about is Louis. Not necessarily the thought of him, just everything. How I can't be with him, how he's dating her" I spat out her with a bitter taste, "and it's making me so dead inside. Everything is getting to be too much." I explained weakly.

"Shouldn't you tell Lou how you're really feeling?" She suggested.

"I am Caroline, thats the thing. I tell him so much but then I feel like he doesn't even... care. I know he cares, I can tell that much but sometimes I feel like he doesn't want me as much as I want him and it scares me. What if one day he finds someone better? Someone who can love him and he can love them back even more? Someone who can publically be with him? Someone who-" I got cut short from my rambling.

"Harry! Stop thinking about the what ifs, okay? He loves you, that much is certain! Stop thinking so much, thats why you can't sleep. You need to turn off these nasty thoughts and just RELAX." She soothed.

I nodded slowly agreeing and I swallowed thickly, "How?" I asked, "How do I just... stop thinking about it?" I asked.

She shrugged, "You need to believe it yourself before you can stop thinking about it. You need to trust Louis that he loves you and he wouldn't just give up. He seperates the line between reality and fantasy. Harry you're a fool if you still think there's a way you can be together publically with him for the time being. Management will never let you as long as you're popular. Louis understands that unlike you. You're stuck believing that somehow there's a way you can publically be together." She sighed heavily rubbing her forehead, "I'm sorry to sound like a bitch but as long as you're at the peak of your fame, there's no way out of this. You need to ride through this and wait. If you love him wait for him. Wait for the freedom. Louis seems to know that already." 

I was soaking this all in. Could that be it? Could it be that I was the one who didn't understand? Is this why I seem so much more dedicated to this relationship than Louis? It all makes sense, I was a fool to think there was a loop hole. Maybe a plan to get us public but as long as we're still making albums and touring there's no way we can announce us together. Louis seems to already know that and I've been blind to it.

Maybe it will all be worth it in the end.

"You're right Caroline." I said looking down at my now cold tea.

"When am I not?" She smirked leaning back in her chair taking a sip.

"But what about Eleanor?" I asked.

She rose an eyebrow, "What about Eleanor?" She questioned back.

"What if he falls in love with her?" I whisper.

She slammed her tea down almost knocking some out causing me to jump. "Harry stop thinking of these dumb what if scenerios? What if a bomb came flying down and this house right now?" She sarcastically asked.

I half chuckled seeing her point as clear as day but I still was worried. No matter how much reassurance receive theres always that bit of doubt in my head.

"Yeah I see what you're saying but I can never fully be calm. I'm always at least a little scared of those what ifs." I admitted.

"Well then that right there is the source of your problem Harry." She announced, "Its alright to feel doubt, know that. Its alright to feel scared, confused, alone, betrayed, but not too much. Too much of one thing is never good. You need to learn to control and stablize those emotions." She explained.

"Wow." I stated.

"What?" She asked.

"You should be a counselor or something Caroline." I joked.

She chuckled but said, "Not but really Harry. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I nodded. "I think so but how do I stop my thoughts from controlling me?" I asked.

"You need to trust. Trust that Louis will always love you and trust you have nothing to worry about. That boy isn't going anywhere and from the looks of it neither are you." She comforted.

I smiled at her and admired her wisdom. I can't believe a few months ago this was the girl I was trying to use. She was such a lovely person, how can anyone mistreat her? How can I mistreat her?

"I'm sorry." I said

"Honestly Harry its fine, I wasn't even that tired." She lied.

"Not that. No, I'm sorry for what I did to you. I should've never used like that." I whispered feeling myself on the verge of crying again.

I couldn't believed I hurt such a good hearted person. I'm a dick.

Caroline being Caroline must've sensed my guilt as she got up from her chair and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck as my hands went around her waist.

"Harry you need to learn to let go. I did. I forgive you, stop letting the past haunt you. You're your own biggest enemy right now." She whispered rubbing my back.

I nodded into her neck and sighed. "Thank you for everything." I whispered.

"No problem love." She smiled and pulled away. She brushed a tear on my cheek that I didn't even realize was there. She gave me a friendly kiss on the forehead and asked, "You wanna head home or do you wanna crash in my guest room?"

"I think I'll just crash here if thats alright." I requested.

" 'Course. Follow me." She said beginning to walk out of the kitchen.

I followed her down the hall and up the stairs to a bedroom door that was shut on the right. She opened it and stepped aside.

"There ya go, sleep tight Harold." Caroline offered.

I smiled and muttered a sleepy thanks. I walked into the room and flicked on the switch. It was a simple guest room with the bed made. It had a television on the wall and a mini bathroom and closet. It was cozy.

"Oh and Harry?" Caroline said asking me again.

"Yeah?" I whipped around to find her poking her head in the door.

"If you want to leave anytime, go ahead but don't bother to wake me up." She said and winked.

I chuckled and nodded my head as she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Sighing I peered around the room once more before realizing I was actually a bit tired. I knew I was still in my pajamas and I didn't really need to get ready so I just grabbed the television remote from the dresser and headed to the bed.

I stripped down to my boxers like I always do and climbed under the covers. Once I was comfortable, I flicked on the television and changed the channels. Once I found a tv show I enjoyed I put the remote down and relaxed.

I can't think or else I won't be able to go to sleep. Just relax, I told myself.

I closed my eyes and let my body go limp with the only noise coming from George Lopez on television.

//

I shot up from my bed when I heard my familiar ringtone. I rubbed my eyes to get aqquainted with my surroundings as I realized I was at Caroline's. I smiled to myself because I woke up. That means that I was actually sleeping.

Remembering that my phone was ringing, I hopped out of bed and leaped for my pants on the floor and dug through the pocket. I grasped my phone and I looked at the caller id.

Louis.

Smiling with a whole new perspective on how to approach life, I swiped to answer.

"Hello?" I answered

"Haz, where are you?" Louis asked sounding a tad worried.

"Don't worry Louis, I'm at Caroline's." I calmed him.

There was a pause. "What time did you get there?" He asked curiously.

I bit my lip, "Around three in the morning." I informed.

"THREE IN THE MORNING?! BLOODY HELL WHY?!" He exclaimed.

"Lou, come down. I couldn't sleep and I just wanted someone to talk to." I reassured.

He sighed at the other end of the line, "Harry why didn't you just wake me up? You know that." 

"Because Louis, its not like I just couldn't get to sleep one night. Its every night I can't fall asleep. Its fine though I'm better now." I reassured.

There was a pause because I was assuming he was thinking. "What did you guys do?" He asked as if I betrayed him.

"What are you implying?" I asked a bit bitter.

"Well I don't know what I'm implying. All I know is that my boyfriend was sleeping next to me when I went to sleep and when I woke up he's not here, he's at some girls house sleeping there. What does that look like to you?" He asked.

I bit my lip. He had a point, if it was the other way around I sure as hell wouldn't be calm. That sounds like I cheated on him or something and thats definitely not what had happened last night. I suddenly felt bad.

"I'm sorry Louis that does look bad on my part. Just trust me nothing happened, I went to her with some help... It was nothing. And I slept in her guest room, its not like I slept with her. I can come home now if you want." I reassured a bit.

He huffed, "Yes I would like you to come home now." He demanded still not fully convinced.

I nodded and told him I'd be there within twenty minutes and hung up.

I stumbled to get my clothes on as I stuffed my phone in my pocket once again. I made the bed really quick and turned off the television, laying the remote back on the dresser. I walked out of the bedroom and smelled cooking coming from the kitchen.

I walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen. Caroline stood by the stove making something that I assumed was for breakfast. She must've heard me walk in because she turned around and said,

"Hey Harry, how did you sleep?" She paused and said, "If you slept at all..."

 

I chuckled and sat at the barstool, "No I slept, thanks to your life saving advice." 

She grinned and turned back to the stove, "What can I say? Its my duty to save lives, I only save about ten a day." She joked.

I laughed before I said, "Hey I gotta run because Louis called me and now hes suspicious as to why I came here so early and why I slept here." I explained.

She turned around and made a little shocked face, "He doesn't think we...?" She said motioning in between me and her.

"Had sex?" I asked finishing her statement, "Well it seems like he thinks that so I better go home and make sure he doesn't think that." 

She nodded in understanding but made me eat a few strips of bacon she made. She claimed she made enough for me and her but now that I'm leaving theres too much so therefore she made me eat what she made for me. I couldn't complain, I loved bacon.

I said I really had to get going now, and she complied by walking me to the front door.

"Thanks again Caroline." I said giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Anytime Styles." She said kicking my butt trying to get me to step through the door.

I smiled as I swatted her foot away. I walked through the front door and I heard the door close behind me. As I was walking down the pathway to my car I heard the front door open again. I turned around to see Caroline poking her head out.

"And remember," She called after me, "Patience Harry."

I bit my lip in understanding. Patience.

Patience is the key to making this work. The problem is, I don't have much patience...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is chapter two, I hope you enjoyed it. These chapters are going to be minor fillers for the plot line to build up so we can get to the good stuff. Although they are fillers I'm trying to make them as detailed and "action filled" as I can, if that makes sense. Anyways you know the drill, give me kudos if you're on AO3 and votes if you're on Wattpad. And for both leave me comments you little kitties.
> 
> I think thats what i'm going to call you guys for now on. Bye Kitties :) xo
> 
> -a


	3. Chapter 3

Harry's POV

I pulled up to Louis' and I's flat, arriving from Caroline's house. It was nice to talk to her, she got my mind back on the right track. I needed that talk, it did me a whole lot of good. Hopefully her insight will last me a few more weeks or months if I'm lucky.

I took the key out of ignition and got out of the car. I jogged to the front door considering it was freezing outside and I had the desire to feel warm. I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, instantly feeling warmer. I kicked off my shoes at the front door and began to think where to go.

Well Louis was obviously awake since he was the one who woke me up from that phone call. I walked into the kitchen and didn't find him in there. I wandered into the living room and saw him sprawled on the couch. He was laying down watching the tele with a cuppa in his hands.

"Hi Lou." I said timidly not sure how he was feeling about me being at Caroline's.

He looked behind his shoulder and saw me. He gave me a half smile and said, "Goodmorning H".

I walked slowly to the couch and took a seat next to him. He watched me as I sat down and muted the television. I wasn't sure if Louis still cared that I went over to Caroline but if he did then I need to make sure we're on the same page.

"So..." I said awkwardly.

He coughed and said, "So you saw Caroline?"

I nodded, "I already said I just needed someone to talk to, it was nothing." I tried to reassure.

He looked down at his lap and played with his cuppa. "Well I mean you used to date her at one point and now you're sneaking out of the flat at the early hours of the morning so I honestly feel a bit suspicious." he explained.

I sighed, I knew he had every right to be suspicious. I just wish he could see that I would never do that, and I wish he knew my love for him would never go away. Why can't he realize that I love him and no one else and I would never do anything to jeporadize it?

"Lou you know I love you, not her." I said and paused staring at him. "Or do you?"

He bit his lip while thinking on what to say. "I know that its just that I can never be so sure." 

I nodded in understanding. I was in no way upset for Louis not believeing me because I know if I were him I wouldn't be taking this situation lightly either. I wasn't mad, I was just dissapointed. I know I'm being hypocritical, I just wish he believed me.

I felt him shift a bit next to me causing me to look up into his gaze. I saw his facial expression soften a bit, he looked a bit hesistant. After a few seconds passed by he said to me, "Cmon here." He motioned for me to come to him and I let out a little smile.

I crawled over from my spot on the couch as I curled into his side. He wrapped his arm around as much of my body as he could and I tucked my head into his shoulder. I felt his head lean onto my head and he sighed.

"It's alright Haz, I believe you." He whispered.

A sense of relief washed over me yet I still felt terrible. Louis is such a good and genuine person and I'd never do anything to hurt him but it makes me scared how trustworthy he is. I just don't want someone else to hurt him.

"I don't deserve you." I said to him.

He scoffed, "Shut up H, I don't even wanna hear you say such rubbish. Now get your curly brown locks in the kitchen and make me something to eat." He ordered playfully.

A smile spread across my face as I began to get up from the couch. As I was standing he smacked my bum yet I still continued walking. I simply turned my head back at him and sent him a wink making my way to the kitchen. Hes a fool, but so am I.

//

The day went on as normal as we just lounged around the flat however I still felt incredibly guilty and I couldn't shake the feeling. Even though nothing happened between Caroline and I, I feel like Louis is still unsure. I feel so guilty and all day I've been trying to find a way to make him feel better.

He kept trying to reassure me that he was fine but I couldn't make this feeling go away. Maybe if we went somewhere to keep my mind occupied it would help the guilt but where could we possibly go? My eyes widen when I had an incredible idea. I stood up abrudbtly from the couch I was sitting on with Louis and said,

"Um, bathroom." 

I quickly walked out of the room and pratically ran up the stairs into my bed room. I shut the door and walked over to my suitcase, I had to rummage thoroughly for my laptop considering how many clothes I pack. Eventually I found it and I quickly booted it up.

I checked my phone while I patiently waited for it to turn on. I had no new messages which is somewhat surprising considering I usually have a few messages waiting for me to open. Finally my computer was on and I quickly opened up a new tab. I wanted to book a vacation of some sort to just sort of get away from everything with Louis. Just me and him and it would be such a good surprise, I'm sure he would be excited.

I knew for christmas we would be having a few days off, I think maybe even a week! That would be a good way to clear our heads from everything that has been going on. Wherever we go it needs to be good because we would be on vacation on Louis' birthday. I also wanted to be in the Christmas spirit as well... I didn't want to bring Louis to a three day zoo resort for Christmas and his birthday. That thought narrowed my options a bit and I smiled as I googled searched some ski resorts.

A ski resort would be perfect and I smiled as I found a pretty decent looking website that advertised their resort. They had cabins available for rent, getting curious I clicked on a few pictures. They looked really cozy and cute, they were small log cabins and it would be a perfect setting to spend Christmas and his birthday. I got so excited at the mere thought.

I wondered if Louis would even want to spend his birthday and holiday with me. Well I mean, we are dating? Doesn't that mean something or do we still go to our family's to spend the holidays? I bit my lip as realization dawned on me. I sighed, maybe this wouldn't work out. As my hopes were sinking, I still continued to search the website for any information it held. 

Since I was getting a bit frustrated I decided to log off and just call it quits. Maybe I could get him a giftcard or something. Something caught my eye and I smiled at it. It said the cabins were available for nightly payments, which meant that I can pay per night and leave whenever. Maybe I could book it early, like the 22nd and spend a few days there and if Louis wants to leave for his birthday we could go whenever. That's perfect! This would be a good gift, this is a safe gift to go with.

I just hope he'll like it.

//

Two days passed and I had all my reservations and information settled. I booked a cabin for the 20th and made sure that the resort knew I'd be paying nightly but I wouldn't be staying no later than Christmas. It was all set and I was super excited considering there was only three days until the 20th which meant I needed to tell Louis.

I wanted to tell him while on a date or something but nothing too fancy. Thats how I decided on a small little car ride to go down town. I wanted it to be simple so he wouldn't think something is up. 

Currently we were lounging at home like we usually do when we aren't busy; which we haven't been lately. I smiled as I bounced down the stairs and into the living room where Louis had the television on as he swiped through his phone. I popped up behind him from the couch and leaned over his shoulder.

"Hey boo thang." I greeted cheekily.

He chuckled while looking behind his shoulder to see me, "Boo thang, really?" 

I shrugged and ignored his comment. "Wanna do something instead of stay in the flat all day?" I said whining.

He locked his phone and set it on his lap, "Well what did you have in mind?" 

A smile spread across my lips as I said, "Well... I was thinking we could just drive downtown and I don't know" I paused, "Like walk around."

Louis put a hand to his chest while standing off the couch insanely quick. He jumped into my arms as I struggled to catch him as he said, "Oh Harry! My romantic boyfriend wants to, 'I don't know, like walk around' with me!" He made his voice high pitched and obviously dramatized as I rolled my eyes.

I let go of him as he plopped onto the floor. "Oh get over yourself and be ready within the hour or you're going to be walking by yourself." I joked.

I began to walk out of the living room however I heard Louis call, "Is that how a romantic boyfriend treats their lover?!" 

"I never said I was romantic!" I yelled back.

"Good because you aren't you twat!" He said just before I got out of hearing distance from him.

I chuckled as I went upstairs to freshen up a bit.

After taking a super quick shower and changing into casual clothing I hurried back downstairs to see if Louis was ready. I found him on the couch still but this time he was already dressed and ready to go.

"Wow, someone actually got ready quicker than I did." I stated a bit surprised.

Louis stop flicking through the channels on the television and turned it off. 

"Hey now, I can get ready in time if I want to." He whined.

I smiled at him as he walked out of the living room. I just chuckled softly and followed him out of the flat and to the car. I insisted on driving since it was my idea and he gave in quickly. I wanted to drive because I knew where I wanted to take him and he wasn't the best driver.

We got in the car and turned on the heat considering it was freezing outside. I'm surprised it wasn't snowing.

"Why did you suddenly want to do something?" He wondered while turning on the radio.

Miley Cyrus was playing and I actually enjoyed her music. It was quite fun to drive to.

"I didn't suddenly want to do something, I was just bored." I defended.

He dropped the subject and quickly went into another. In mid sentence I heard the beginning of Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke and I interuppted Louis.

"Oh no!" I groaned reaching for the radio and quickly turned it off, "I hate this song!" 

Louis gasped and said, "That song is so catchy!" He went to turn it back on and soon the song filled the car again.

"Ew, you're one of those people! Turn it it off Lou, its annoying!" I whined.

"Hey hey hey! Hey hey hey! Hey hey hey!" He began to sing along to the words. I knew he was only singing because now he knew it annoyed me.

I rolled my eyes and tried my best to block it out. I used to tolerate this song, I was never a fan of it in the first place but once the radio played it like a broken record, I came to absolutely hate it. Louis continued to sing the song loudly and annoyingly but I let him like I always do. Soon the song was over and the car ride was over as well. I quickly turned off the engine and got out of the car.

"Finally." I mumbled as I shut the door and locked the car.

I walked around to meet Louis on the other side of the car and waited for him to get out. He eventually did and he went to grab my hand. I smiled at the light contact knowing he was mine. I tangled our fingers together as he shut his door and led him to the sidewalk. 

This park was huge and bigger than the other one we usually go to and since it was winter time it was pretty much empty. My heart dropped as I realized I forgot to check if the brochure was still in my coat pocket. I quickly patted my coat and felt the outline of the brochure from the inside pocket. I sighed out of relief and relaxed as we continued to walk down the pathway.

We talked and teased each other for a bit until we came upon the play section of the park. Louis gasped and pointed to the swingset.

"Look Haz, they got a new one put in already!" He said running and dragging me behind him.

The park had to rebuild a new one because the other one was really old and it eventually broke. 

"Why are you excited to go on a swingset that has a record of breaking?!" I called up to him while running behind my hand still in his.

He just laughed and said, "Its not the same one you dork!" 

I rolled my eyes but continued to smile. Soon we reached the swingset and Louis wasted no time on getting on a swing. He began to kick his feet back and forth in an effort to get it moving.

I stuck my hands in my jean pockets since it was now cold because Louis' hand wasn't there to keep it warm.

"I feel like I'm the parent and you're the child whos excited to go to the park." I said to him.

His smile didn't falter as he said, "Oh come and stop being a poop head." He said patting his lap.

"Louis that broke like a week ago and you want me to get on your lap? Thats like over 200 pounds together!" I exclaimed.

He just shrugged and said, "Cmon here love, don't be such a worry wart!"

I sighed in defeat and walked over the mulch to get to him. As I was bending to sit down he smacked my bum and chuckled right after.  
"Oi!" I exlaimed, "Do you want me to get on or not?" I asked.

He didn't quiet his laughing but he said, "I'm sorry come on." He said grabbing my waist and placing me on him. It was really scary and unstable at first but he made me relax after a minute. I grabbed onto the sides of the swing as he began to kick. He was struggling because with both of our weight it was harder.

"You gotta help!" He said out of breath.

I smiled but tried to pump my legs as well. Soon we were swinging back and forth at a pretty steady pace. It was nice to be on a swing after a few years. It was really cold because it was cold in the first place but having the wind blow in our face added to it. Soon I told him I wanted to get off because I was freezing at this point but he wouldn't stop yet we were already so high. That began to get me nervous so I said,

"Lou let me down now!" I said grabbing on tighter. 

He began to laugh and said, "Jump!" 

My eyes widened as I looked down. We were really high up off the ground and that terrified me. "No way Lou!" I yelled.

"Do it! I'll jump with you!" He encouraged.

"No we'll get hurt!" I protested.

"I got you, we won't hurt I promise, it'll be fun!" 

I shook my head no frantically, my curls falling in my face. 

"Lets go babe on the count of three!" He yelled.

"No!" 

"One..." 

"So funny, I'm not doing it." I stated nervously, was he serious?  
"Two..." 

"Lou stop, I'm not doing it!" 

"Three!" He yelled.

On three he lifted his bum off the swing causing me to fly out of his lap. I screamed as we fell and I felt hands grabbing on the hood of my coat. I tried to plant my feet on the ground when the time came but my knees buckled and I fell on the mulch. I landed on my stomach with a hard bang from Louis landing on my back.

"Ow" I mumbled against the mulch.

He just laughed while his whole body was sprawled on my body. "Good job Haz!" 

I groaned in pain but soon felt Louis' lips pressed to my temple, "See not so bad love?" He said getting off.

He offered me a hand I gladly took it as he pulled me to my feet. He brushed some mulch out of my hair and off my back but still kept his hand in mine.

"I hate you." I mumbled.

He chuckled, "No you don't!" He said pinching my cheeks.

I smiled at him because its true, I can never hate him. I love this boy so much and I decided I should give him the Ski brochure now.

"Before you get us killed I wanna give you something as an early Christmas and birthday gift." I said looking at him.

He looked up at me and said, "Really?"

I nodded and said, "Well I was thinking we kind of needed some time away from everything so I kinda rented us a cabin Christmas week at a Ski Lodge." I said while digging the brochure from out of my pocket.

His eyes went wide as he grabbed the brochure out of my hands. He opened it quickly and was flipping through all the pages.

I continued, "We're renting it nightly so we can leave before Christmas or even before your birthday if you wanted to go home for those days. I wasn't really sure what you'd rather do so I'm paying per night starting the 20th." I explained.

Without warning I felt Louis jump onto me like a koala. He wrapped his arms around my neck and legs around my waist as he cheered.

"A ski resort Haz?!" He exclaimed. "I've always wanted to go to one!" He exclaimed.

I chuckled, "Well I'm glad you li-" I got cut off from Louis' lips plastering onto mine.

I shut up and kissed him back quickly. Apparently he had a lot more to say because he pulled away and hopped back down. He grabbed my hand and began walking back to the car talking about how excited he was.

"I just hope you won't be a pussy like you were on those swings." He squeezed into his sentences.

"Hey!" I said offended.

"I'm so excited right now!" He said jumping in the air a bit.

I just laughed and let him talk himself out all the way home. At least in the car ride home he didn't want to turn on the radio to listen to that blasted song again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I want to apologize so yeah its been like a month since I updated. No excuses, I just haven't had the motivation to write because I didn't know what to write about but I came up with the Ski Resort idea so that should keep me motivated for a few chapters so I won't do that again I promise. I have a feeling that this book is going to be shorter than Skinny Love so I hope thats okay! 
> 
> Well now that thats out of the way, how was everyone's Christmas? What did you get? And if you don't celebrate what are your new years resolutions?! Remember to comment/kudos for faster updates! Love you all xo
> 
> -a


	4. Chapter 4

Harry's POV

"Louis hurry up! I wanted to get there early!" I yelled upstairs.

I sighed impatiently as I waited for Louis to gather his belongings. It was currently the 20th and we were supposed to be leaving the house to the ski resort about an hour ago. At least thats when I wanted to leave but of course Louis was keeping us from arriving at the designated time.

"Hold up Curly, I'm almost done!" He answered.

I plopped myself down on the couch knowing it could take a while. Louis decided he wanted to stay there for his birthday and Christmas morning. Since the resort was only about an hour drive from his mum's house in Doncaster, we would drive there around noon on Christmas making us on time for Christmas dinner with the family. I even called my mum and my step dad Robin to come along. Gemma said she might be able to make it too. Maybe it would all work out... if Louis didn't make us late.

I even had an extra birthday/christmas present in store for him as well. However my main focus was getting us on the road to the ski lodge since it was about a two hour drive.

Sighing, I stood up from the couch and made my way upstairs into Louis' room. I heard light music playing from his phone as he was dancing around his room stuffing things into a suitcase. He was lightly singing along and I wanted to laugh but I couldn't bring myself to since he was making us late. So all I did was chuckle very softly.

"This is why you're taking forever!" I exclaimed walking over to his phone and muting it.

"Hey!" He said as he stuffed another three shirts into his suitcase.

"Didn't I tell you to pack last night?" I reminded him growing impatient.

He huffed and put down his shirts walking over to me. He wrapped his arms around my torso and leaned his head against my chest. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him tight leaning my cheek on top of his head.

"Calm down love, everything's going to go great stop worrying." He spanked my bum as he pulled away and said "Besides I'm done!" 

"Good, now lets get your big arse out of this flat!" I proclaimed zipping closed his suitcase. 

He grabbed the suitcase off the bed with one big heave and dragged it to the door. He turned off the light on the way as I followed closely behind. I made sure all the lights in the hallway and bedrooms were off as we made it to the stairs. I was going to help lift up his suitcase to get it down the stairs until Louis purposefully pushed it so it went tumbling down the stairs.

I gasped and Louis just laughed walking down after it.

"Louis, you'll break your laptop!" I exclaimed chasing after him.

He quited his laughing and said, "Nah, my laptops already in the car! This way is quicker Harry, see? No effort at all!" He began to tug and pull at the suitcase out of the front door.

I shook my head laughing, that boy really needs to be careful, hes going to break something really important one day. I walked around the house one more time and thankfully I did because we almost left the living room light on as well as the television. That would've been on for about five days which isn't good. Once the house was ready to be left for a few days I walked outside and made sure the front door was locked.

I walked down the pathway to the driving way to see Louis struggling at the trunk of the car. He had the suitcase halfway in the trunk however he had his back trying to shove the heavy suitcase inside all the way. I was laughing as he was sinking to the floor from his feet sliding out from under him. He kicked his back harder against the suitcase and it budged just a bit.

"Can you give me a hand?" He asked struggling to form a sentence.

I crossed my arms and stood there as I laughed, "I don't know Boo, its kind of funny seeing you like this." 

He looked up at me and glared, "You twat, just help."

I didn't stop laughing however I walked over to him. I grabbed one end and heaved it into the trunk. He almost fell since the weight was off his back. He stood up and smacked his hands together.

"I think we're ready." he announced. 

I slammed the trunk door shut and turned to him. "Yah think?" I said kissing him lightly on the nose and walking to the driver side. "Cmon Lou, lets go skiing."

//

The car ride was death. 

Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with Louis more than I love anything else but sometimes when Blurred Lines and Royals play on the radio at least five times each, it makes you go mad. It doesn't help with Louis singing them obnoxiously loud in traffic. I assumed the traffic was due to the holidays.

Eventually we got to the ski resort and it was beautiful! There was obviously a lot of snow and they had it decorated for Christmas. It was covered in christmas lights and it was stunning.

We had already signed in and Louis would not stop complaining about having to use the restroom. The whole time he was nagging me about pulling over but I refused because we were nearly there. I was currently looking for Louis because he ran off looking for a restroom.

I was roaming the hotel hallway for about a minute until I saw a bell-boy walking around with luggage. I quickly walked up to him before he walked into the elevator.

"Sir?" I asked getting his attention.

He turned around and said, "Yes?"

"Where's the restroom?" I asked politely.

"Oh um its down this hallway and its to your right." He instructed.

I thanked him and followed his directions. I found the men's restroom and right as I was about to walk inside, Louis opened the door. He jumped, getting startled and I just chuckled.

"You scared me there for a second Haz." He said grabbing my hand and walking down the hallway.

I smiled at him, "Feel better?" 

He groaned, "Loads, I was going to explode."

I chuckled, "Lets go to our cabin now, we're a bit later than I wanted to be."

We eventually found our cabin. It was almost like a mini village, the entire place was covered in snow. There were many cabins lining up with ours and it took us a while to find where they had the numbers placed. It was next to the door, which is the obvious spot yet it took us a while to figure it out. The resort was pretty packed especially around this time of year.

Apparently someone already took our luggage to our cabin but I don't see how they could get it here so quickly. We walked up to the front porch of the brown log cabin as I took out the key. I unlocked the door and swung it open.

The cabin was even more beautiful than online. We stepped inside and we were hit with an amazing fresh smell of pinecones. I peered around and saw a living room to the left, a kitchen/dining room to the right and straight ahead was a hallway where I assumed the bathroom and bedrooms to be.

"Woah look at this place..." I said doing a 360 around the room.

Within a few minutes Louis and I toured the whole cabin and it wasn't much but it was absolutely perfect. The cabin had such a cute homey feeling to it and it makes me feel all cuddly and warm, the absolute opposite of outside.

"Why did you rent a two bedroom cabin if we share a room anyways?" Louis asked unpacking some clothes into a drawer.

I continued to unpack our bathroom essentials, like our toothbrushes and shampoo as I shrugged, "I wasn't really thinking at the time I guess."

"Clearly," He scoffed.

I frowned a bit but continued to unpack none the less. Within the hour all our luggage was neatly put away for the next few days and we had a few hours before it got dark. I suggested we could start skiing for a bit but Louis said it was too late and that we should go tomorrow. He was right, by the time we get out there it would be time to go back inside.

I then suggested we should go down to the lodge and find something to eat. He agreed and we began to gear up to head outside in the winter weather.

The best part about this ski resort, in my opinion is how it feels like an actual town. You have the actual slopes to ski on, the cabins which would be considered the homes, and then the 'town'. By town I mean the lodge downtown part. In the lodge theres so many different buildings it looks like a mini town. They have three different restaurants for your choice, a clothing store, a mini food store, and even a small post office. It was incredible!

Even though it was close to dark there was still many families roaming around the lodge. We picked the italian restaurant from the bunch and went inside. We got seated and took off our coats, gloves and hats as we looked over our menu. We quickly ordered and had to relax.

"This place is so cool Haz, thank you so much!" Louis proclaimed.

I smiled maybe this place was a good idea. "You're welcome, I'm really glad you like it. I hope the slopes aren't too scary though, I never went skiing before..." I commented.

Louis shrugged, "It can't be too hard, I mean I went skiing only once before when I was younger but I think I was pretty good. Its kinda like skateboarding but on snow? Right?" He asked trying to get my reassurance.

I held my hands up, "Hey don't look at me, I have no idea I'm probably shit at skiing."

He chuckled, "We'll see tomorrow."

Our waitor placed our drinks and food in front of us on the table and quickly dissapeared into the kitchen. We wasted no time to dig into our food. 

"Have you seen that one movie where these people go skiing?" Louis asked while taking a bite out of his food.

I rose an eyebrow finishing my drink, "Thats a bit of a vague description don't you think?"

Louis smirked, "Well its about these people who go skiing and then they get stuck on the little ski ramp thing that brings you to the top of the mountain."

"You mean the ski lift?" I asked amused.

"Whatever," He waved me off and continued, "Well anyways they get stuck up there and like wolves circle them on the bottom and its freezing cold and shit, do you think that will happen to us?" He asked.

"Gee well thanks for putting that image into my head, I'm excited to go now." I said sarcastically.

He scoffed, "What are you scared now?" 

"No!" I defended. I looked down at my food and pushed my mashed potatoes around my plate and mumbled, "Not really."

"Sure you aren't." Louis stated proudly grinning at me.

I huffed, "Well if you're so brave you should be excellent at skiing!" 

"I think I am to be fair." He admitted.

"We'll see about that boobear." I challenged.

"Don't call me that prick." He mumbled eating some more food off his plate.

We'll see who is better at skiing...

It's probably going to be Louis since hes the more atheletic of us two. Who knows maybe I have a hidden talent I'm just waiting to discover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm so sorry this chapter sucks! There's no interesting things going on or cliff hanger or anything to make you want to keep reading but hold on next chapter will be them skiing and having a grand old time and I smell some smut in the air ((not next chapter but maybe the one after)) so make that your motivator.
> 
> So how was everyones holidays? I'm going back to school tomorrow :/ so I wanted to get this up before I get piled with tons of homework. Have any of you seen the new Disney movie Frozen?! It's my new favorite movie, I watched it 3 times already!! If you haven't seen it I definitely reccomend you do! Remember to comment/kudos! xo
> 
> -a


End file.
